Not Today, Lord...

We all have had these days.  You know what I'm talking about.  Those days where you flop out of bed and into your life, but you're too tired and exhausted to talk to or even think about God.  Those days where your brain is fuzzy and you start a prayer, but are too frazzled to keep going.  Those days where you don't want to believe in God because you're too busy.  Those days where you're bouncing from one activity to another, constantly distracted and unfocused.

For me, I have these days when I'm tired.  I have no one to blame but myself, of course.  (100 points to whoever can tell me why I still think after many years of trying I can stay up until 3am or later and still have enough sleep to get through another school day.)  It's days that I crawl out of bed and don't wake up all day where I don't seem to have the energy to think let alone spend time with my Abba (aka Daddy, or Big Daddy... whatever way helps you differentiate between my worldly daddy and my heavenly Daddy). 

I know, or at least I hope, I am not the only one who has these days.  I at least know that Starfield has these days.  These are the lyrics to their song Something To Say:

I've got something to say
It's been one of those days
When I'm finding it hard to believe in You

I've got something to say
I've forgotten how to pray
And I'm finding it hard to believe the truth

I've got something to say
Right now it feels like You are slipping away
Like I am drowning in a crisis of faith
Like I'm alone

I've got something to say
What was black and white is grey
And I'm finding it hard to believe in You

And faith might mean there won't be answers
And hope might mean enduring through the night
But help me not forget in darkness
The things that I believed in light

I've got something to say
Right now it feels like You are slipping away
Like I am drowning in a crisis of faith
Like I was found, but now I'm lost in the fray

I've got something to say
It's been one of those days
When I'm finding it hard to believe in You

Those words kind of summarize all that I feel on my days where I groan at the thought of meditation and prayer and want to push God aside for a day when I have more energy.

I can't imagine the kind of rejection He feels when I do that.  If my best friend walked into school one day and told me "I'm too tired to talk to you today.  Maybe tomorrow." but went about her life like normal, I would be a lot more than a little upset.  God wants more than a couple minutes of me every couple days or so.  No way...  I can't imagine any relationship prospering like that.  God wants to be a part of every single aspect of my life.  And your life, too.

I recently started a 30-day devotional called "Instant Messages from God" (and this is good for me since I unfortunately spend several hours a day on AIM, IMing friends).  Here are a couple really awesome verses and quotes I can pull from just the first 6 days:

• Be still, and know that I am God.  ~ Psalm 46:10
• Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.  ~ James 4:8
• It's a crazy world and life speeds by at a blur, yet God is right in the middle of the craziness.  And anywhere, at anytime, we may turn to Him, hear His voice, feel His hand, and catch the fragrance of Heaven  ~ Joni Eareckson Tada
• Again, this is God's command: to believe in His personally named Son, Jesus Christ.  He told us to love one another, in line with the original command.  As we keep His commands, we live deeply and surely in Him, and He lives in us.  And this is how we experience His deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit He gave us.  ~ 1 John 2:23-24

I hope that when you have those days when you're finding it hard to believe in Him, you will still look to Him in His word and in His people.  Because He loves you.  All the time.

<3 Warrior